A few observations.

I think that I may need to review the 'tea-lady hypothesis' (see 14th November post) because yesterday I was not only called into my appointment 30 minutes early but into the office of the 'main man', my QEH consultant oncologist. Now, he is a genuinely approachable, personable and unassuming guy but in view of my earlier theorising I wasn't sure that my 'promotion' meant good news. However, after a discussion about my blood pressure readings (again presented by me as though from one health professional to another) in which he assured me that the numbers were within the acceptable range (our exchange was probably a little too technical for a lay audience, so I'll spare you the detail) I asked him 'How do you think I'm doing?

I'm aware that this it the same question I asked of the pharmacist and specialist nurse three weeks ago but it seemed to me that there's no harm in a little bit of clinical triangulation. Anyway, the answer was again encouraging . He stated that until recently all patients, in the country, receiving my drug, Sunitinib, came through him in Birmingham. From his research on the total of nearly 200 some 60% fail to reach the end of cycle 2 without experiencing side effects that either result in a reduction of dosage (with implications for efficacy) or transfer to another treatment programme.

So, we (i.e. Diana and myself) agreed that was good news. I asked whether the research  had been published but apparently it has yet to be written up (I'm just wondering whether I'll be cited as one of the team?) Suffice it to say, my 'tea-lady hypothesis' is now being amended to accommodate the 'Research Collaboration Variation' which explains exceptions such as that occurring yesterday.

Cycle 3 has begun; day 3/28

A change of tone.............

Yesterday I had further communication from my German friend, Gerd (you can read it under 'comments' for the last post, 23rd November). He writes about the 'narrow bridge' or wafer-thin divide that exists for all us between having and not-having, a life-threatening condition like cancer. He also writes that he admires or 'adores' my writing of this blog with its 'self-ironical' style. I therefore suspect or hope that the passage above would also find favour with him - and perhaps others.

But there is a wafer-thin divide for me too; between the chatty, light-hearted, 'self ironical' style that I have learned to adopt and something darker, much more bleak. It is as thin as a radiogist's film image, as brief as the time it takes to say 'More bad news I'm afraid', as evanescent as a phone call....... and I know that I'll be lost in a windswept denuded landscape, an arctic tundra, a lone figure for thousands of square miles..................

But I'm sure that you probably already knew that.

On the subject of tundra, I spent Tuesday of last week with Dave at Slimbridge WWT, watching wildfowl (ducks, geese and waders) and swans, recently arrived from the far north. Although I understand the popular, all-year, zoo-appeal of flamingoes and other captive exotics from around the world, I'm not too sure that they 'fit' with the birding ethic of studying wild birds within their natural habitats.

After a chilly afternoon spent observing birds from various hides positioned above and alongside the fields, creeks and lakes beside the Severn estuary we ended the day in paradise; in a heated hide with comfortable seating and huge picture windows giving stunning views of thousands of ducks, geese and Bewick swans at feeding time. ('So much for the 'birding ethic'!', I think I hear you say.)

The other highlight from the visit was avidly observing, in its natural habitat, the lesser-spotted TV celebrity, Kate Humble (from BBC Springwatch, Autumnwatch and other programmes). I studied her behaviour for some time within a small flock of  males.

I thought it inappropriate however, to make use of my binoculars given that we were separated by only a few empty tables in the restaurant.