Ears and eyes.

When I was involved with the world of counselling one of the axioms I learned was, 'you listen with your eyes'. In my secondary school teaching this proposition was satisfyingly puzzling to students. I used to routinely set up the class to undertake an exercise that would demonstrate the truth of it. This was one of my more successful lessons.

Birding with Dave has taught me a new axiom - 'you see with your ears'. While I, as with our recent visit to the RSPB reserve at Middleton Lakes near Tamworth, tend to walk with my eyes forward scanning for birds (but also plants), Dave is tuning in aurally. He invariably hears and understands acoustic meaning before I do. He can distinguish different warbler song, a reed bunting call or a dunnock serenade. As a result his use of sight is then often directed and acute while mine is still engaged in generalised scanning.

On the other hand he isn't so good with his umbellifers.

A few days before this trip I received an email from Betty, the wife of Bob, who had been a teaching colleague of both Dave's and myself. Bob had retired a few years before me. I knew, from bumping into him at the QEH Cancer Centre, that he had prostate cancer that had metastasised to the spine and other areas. Her message told me that he had returned to hospital following further complications with his spine. The information was to the point; he would never walk again.

Yesterday, Di and I visited him and he took us through the events since our last meeting. His voice was strong in the telling but understandably emotional when pausing to confront his new reality. Betty and Bob are ordinary people facing adversity with extraordinary courage. The tears that fill our eyes are for all of us.

'Tuning in' can be both rewarding and painful.