Who said that romance is dead? A couple of weeks ago I took Diana for a uniquely amatory experience - a 'rawmantic dinner' at a private house just around the corner from where we live. You think you know what is going on in your neighbourhood but here was a new world of raw vegan food - on our doorstep.
Now, I know what you're thinking; 'the cheapskate - taking Di out for a lettuce and raw carrot salad followed by an artfully-sliced apple'.
Think again.
This was a delicious, four course meal of exquisitely intense flavours. We sat down with two other couples, the hosts and a visiting female trainer (in tantric yoga - seemed appropriate) living in France. We started with a fresh fruit and beetroot-coloured juice in a flute, the rim of which was frosted with psyllium husks. This was followed by a spicy, cold soup again of a blood-red colour derived from beetroot, with an accompanying 'pumpkin cracker' made in a dehydrator. Then we enjoyed a couple of sushi-like delicacies consisting of avocado and sprouting seeds wrapped in some kind of seaweed. The 'main course' was a raw vegan lasagna with 'courgette pasta' and a filling of, among other things, cashew nut paste. This was served with a sprouting seed salad (probably alfalfa or broccoli). The 'pudding' was a slice of a carob-topped 'torte' with a fruit filling and whole grapes on a dried nut base. To conclude, we enjoyed two exquisite after-dinner, heart-shaped, carob and nut-paste, 'petit fours'.
In terms of volume (my family's usual measure of a 'good meal') we hadn't eaten a great deal but in our post-prandial discussion we all commented on how satisfyingly-full we felt. I'm sure that this had something to do with the intensity of the flavours in this uncooked dinner so skilfully concocted from unadulterated ingredients.
If I could eat food like this all the time, I too could live on a raw vegan diet but I can't get away from the idea that our hosts must spend most of their time in the kitchen.
Meanwhile we continue with our more-modest, plant-based diet in the hope that it makes a contribution to slowing the growth of the tumours in my lungs. By the way, I have to take the medics word for the existence of these tumours. I don't currently suffer from any direct physical effects. I do suffer from the 'chemo' medication I trustingly swallow and from the sciatica resulting from the scoliosis in my lower spine but not from the cancer itself.
Apparently, scoliosis is more widespread in the general population than you might think. We sufferers should form a support group, perhaps with Richard III as our patron?
Meanwhile, we should learn about the all-important latest CT scan results this Thursday (28th) at my regular oncology appointment. The proof of this particular pudding could well be in the eating.
And if things have not gone well and if I do become less mobile as has my old friend Geoff, who suffers from a similar condition, I can now, at least, look forward to enjoying the greater variety of wildlife visiting the garden. Why? Because my generously-motivated brother has dug a pond for me. It is still at the stage where it needs the softening effects of plants and the covering of the unattractive black liner at the margins but its an exciting addition.
I have wanted a pond since Shakespeare shredded the reputation of the last of the Plantagenets - now, at last, thanks to recent excavations, I have one.
Monday, 25 February 2013
Tuesday, 5 February 2013
Credit Tebbitt
It has arrived - and there is an air of anticipation in the house. I am referring to our latest item of conspicuous consumption, a Technogym Excite 700i upright exercise bike. The idea is to build on recent progress made with my exercise regime. I need regular cardiovascular work to counteract the toxic effects of the powerful 'chemo' drugs. The problem has always been; 'How to do this without creating further problems for my scoliotic back?' Recent, graduated and regular workouts on the equipment at my former school's Health and Fitness Centre, have indicated that an upright bike would be best. £450 later and the second-hand bike is here. Diana says I need 30 minutes a day of cv exercise to add to my 45 minute Pilates routine. Together with a regular walk to the shops, managing emails, a 'cup-of-tea' visit (home or away), catching up on the BBC news website, meals and the usual bouts of procrastination and that's it, the day is over.
It has arrived - and I'll admit to being more anxious this time around. The letter informing me that my next thoracic/abdominal/pelvic CT scan is scheduled for the coming Thursday evening came with the enclosed small bottle of 'omnipaque' contrast that I have to swallow 24 hours before the appointment. It is strange how I briefly experienced a butterfly wing of excitement when the padded envelope complete with bulge arrived through the door. Amazon parcel? A forgotten order? An unexpected gift from an unknown admirer? I'll confess to a feeling of disappointment on opening the seal.
Yet, I should be pleased. This scan, already delayed, is important because it promises to provide information on the critical question as to whether the reduction in my 'chemo' dosage has reduced the efficacy of the drug. If it has then my recent tangible, physical improvement and the accompanying, reassuring sense of control, will have been dealt a serious blow.
The 'sense of control' referred to above derives from the two areas of lifestyle that offer a measure of self-help when confronted by a barely-understood condition like cancer and the barely-understood interventions of medical science. These areas are diet and exercise. When things are being done to you, you need to feel that there are things you can do for yourself.
As far as the dietary element is concerned, if 'you are what you eat', then my flesh should, by now, be composed of organic vegetable fibre, my hair of wholemeal vermicelli pasta and my heart powered by soya protein. My pulse should be regulated by pulses and the blood that courses through my locally-grown veins must be a blend of organic carrot and beetroot juice. Tumours should have no purchase within such a body; they should wither on the vine-leaf dolmades. Our weekly supermarket shopping trolley is now so stuffed with vegetables that we serve as role models for those still fortunate to be eating high sugar-salt, dairy-drenched, processed, hydrogenated, saturated fat-fuelled ready-made meals. A fellow shopper, following me alongside the checkout conveyor belt, asked whether she could come home with me. She was, she said, 'so impressed' with the contents of my trolley.
She could, quite plausibly of course, have been employing a euphemism.
My mood swings according to whether I am focused on that which I can (up) or cannot (down) do. When I exercise, I sense the possibility of restoring something of my physical self. Intellectually, I know that I cannot undo what has been done but there is, at least, a possibility of improvement.
Ok, that's enough procrastination for one morning.
The time has come for me to follow Norman Tebbitt's famous dictum, 'get on your bike and look for [a] work[out]................'
It has arrived - and I'll admit to being more anxious this time around. The letter informing me that my next thoracic/abdominal/pelvic CT scan is scheduled for the coming Thursday evening came with the enclosed small bottle of 'omnipaque' contrast that I have to swallow 24 hours before the appointment. It is strange how I briefly experienced a butterfly wing of excitement when the padded envelope complete with bulge arrived through the door. Amazon parcel? A forgotten order? An unexpected gift from an unknown admirer? I'll confess to a feeling of disappointment on opening the seal.
Yet, I should be pleased. This scan, already delayed, is important because it promises to provide information on the critical question as to whether the reduction in my 'chemo' dosage has reduced the efficacy of the drug. If it has then my recent tangible, physical improvement and the accompanying, reassuring sense of control, will have been dealt a serious blow.
The 'sense of control' referred to above derives from the two areas of lifestyle that offer a measure of self-help when confronted by a barely-understood condition like cancer and the barely-understood interventions of medical science. These areas are diet and exercise. When things are being done to you, you need to feel that there are things you can do for yourself.
As far as the dietary element is concerned, if 'you are what you eat', then my flesh should, by now, be composed of organic vegetable fibre, my hair of wholemeal vermicelli pasta and my heart powered by soya protein. My pulse should be regulated by pulses and the blood that courses through my locally-grown veins must be a blend of organic carrot and beetroot juice. Tumours should have no purchase within such a body; they should wither on the vine-leaf dolmades. Our weekly supermarket shopping trolley is now so stuffed with vegetables that we serve as role models for those still fortunate to be eating high sugar-salt, dairy-drenched, processed, hydrogenated, saturated fat-fuelled ready-made meals. A fellow shopper, following me alongside the checkout conveyor belt, asked whether she could come home with me. She was, she said, 'so impressed' with the contents of my trolley.
She could, quite plausibly of course, have been employing a euphemism.
My mood swings according to whether I am focused on that which I can (up) or cannot (down) do. When I exercise, I sense the possibility of restoring something of my physical self. Intellectually, I know that I cannot undo what has been done but there is, at least, a possibility of improvement.
Ok, that's enough procrastination for one morning.
The time has come for me to follow Norman Tebbitt's famous dictum, 'get on your bike and look for [a] work[out]................'
Monday, 28 January 2013
Into ever-widening orbit drawn
A number of events have taken or will take place over the last few, and coming, days - and like any good continuity announcer, I continue to search for the links...................
Two days ago, I was in a packed St Francis chaplaincy on the University of Birmingham campus attending a memorial service for Tony, a long-serving member of the teaching staff. I didn't know Tony well but have been very fond of Alison, his wife, ever since she came to the rescue at the time Diana was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005. Alison, a woman with more than a little of the no-nonsense Scot about her, helped both of us in many ways but particularly Diana with organising her work commitments in advance of an operation and subsequent time on sick-leave.
Tony died of complications arising from an operation linked to his bowel cancer. The funeral had been held in the Highland town of Boat of Garten near Aviemore, the family home since their respective retirements a few years ago. The memorial service was an opportunity, particularly for those unable to travel to Scotland, to pay their respects and take part in a celebration of remembrance.
I could not of course, though it feels shameful to admit the fact, stop myself from musing on the question of what might be said about me in similar circumstances. Would it be possible perhaps for me to offer some prompts for those reckless enough to address a future, thinly-populated audience?
One suggestion would, as was the case with Tony, centre on the importance of family. I'm really not sure what my children (and grandchildren) will say about me but around the same time as the memorial service I had received a late-Christmas, long-distance parcel from my son, Stephen, who, as most of you know, lives in the States. The parcel turned out to be a photo 'trans-imaged' to a large, frameless canvas. The photo had ben taken by Amichai on the dunes at Walberswick in Suffolk during our time there in Christmas week. It, the photo, is populated by my three grown-up children and two grandchildren.
The gift is a joy and I have already looked intently at it on many occasions. I am moved by the warmth within the grouping and if my muse hadn't deserted me (without so much as a 'goodbye', much less an explanatory note) I might have been moved to write something poetic - so, prose will have to do. How did this happen - that five healthy, life-loving, big-hearted young people were so indissolubly connected to me by both nature and nurture?
By the way, that's a rhetorical question.
Next Monday is my father's birthday. Had he lived he would have been 98 years old. He died 35 years ago, my age come the month of May this year. Of the five in the photo he had time to meet just Claire and Stephen. He too would be proud - in his own, low-key, hard-to-fathom manner.
A few short sentences ago you heaved a sigh of relief when I wrote that I had been unable to find poetic expression for my feelings about the family photo. You sighed too soon. Here is one I wrote earlier, in the year 2000. It features Joe, who will be 21 years old in a few days, my father - and me. I'll leave you to join the dots.................
Finally, we had a consultation at the QEH Cancer Centre last Thursday. I am cleared to go forward to the next round of oral chemotherapy, the 13th. The all-important CT scan will not be administered for another four weeks or so. I'll keep you informed.
Two days ago, I was in a packed St Francis chaplaincy on the University of Birmingham campus attending a memorial service for Tony, a long-serving member of the teaching staff. I didn't know Tony well but have been very fond of Alison, his wife, ever since she came to the rescue at the time Diana was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005. Alison, a woman with more than a little of the no-nonsense Scot about her, helped both of us in many ways but particularly Diana with organising her work commitments in advance of an operation and subsequent time on sick-leave.
Tony died of complications arising from an operation linked to his bowel cancer. The funeral had been held in the Highland town of Boat of Garten near Aviemore, the family home since their respective retirements a few years ago. The memorial service was an opportunity, particularly for those unable to travel to Scotland, to pay their respects and take part in a celebration of remembrance.
I could not of course, though it feels shameful to admit the fact, stop myself from musing on the question of what might be said about me in similar circumstances. Would it be possible perhaps for me to offer some prompts for those reckless enough to address a future, thinly-populated audience?
One suggestion would, as was the case with Tony, centre on the importance of family. I'm really not sure what my children (and grandchildren) will say about me but around the same time as the memorial service I had received a late-Christmas, long-distance parcel from my son, Stephen, who, as most of you know, lives in the States. The parcel turned out to be a photo 'trans-imaged' to a large, frameless canvas. The photo had ben taken by Amichai on the dunes at Walberswick in Suffolk during our time there in Christmas week. It, the photo, is populated by my three grown-up children and two grandchildren.
The gift is a joy and I have already looked intently at it on many occasions. I am moved by the warmth within the grouping and if my muse hadn't deserted me (without so much as a 'goodbye', much less an explanatory note) I might have been moved to write something poetic - so, prose will have to do. How did this happen - that five healthy, life-loving, big-hearted young people were so indissolubly connected to me by both nature and nurture?
By the way, that's a rhetorical question.
Next Monday is my father's birthday. Had he lived he would have been 98 years old. He died 35 years ago, my age come the month of May this year. Of the five in the photo he had time to meet just Claire and Stephen. He too would be proud - in his own, low-key, hard-to-fathom manner.
A few short sentences ago you heaved a sigh of relief when I wrote that I had been unable to find poetic expression for my feelings about the family photo. You sighed too soon. Here is one I wrote earlier, in the year 2000. It features Joe, who will be 21 years old in a few days, my father - and me. I'll leave you to join the dots.................
Satellites
Tonight,
as we with separate purpose walked
you,
a perfect 8, playing by my side
and
into ever-widening orbit drawn
by
worlds new-grown inside your head
- and I, with my father once more;
he, a man, so sombre-proud
proceeding with lunar-heavy tread
straight and undeflected, as though
upon some path, we’ve walked before.
I saw my son, knew him for me
but still cannot be certain
across long light years, whether he,
imprisoned now in fading photographs
and of such gravity,
looked down and smiled,
and saw himself in me.
Finally, we had a consultation at the QEH Cancer Centre last Thursday. I am cleared to go forward to the next round of oral chemotherapy, the 13th. The all-important CT scan will not be administered for another four weeks or so. I'll keep you informed.
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
There and back again.
Lunchtime, the Sunday before Christmas, 2012. That would make it 23rd December if my maths is correct.
We are on Southwold beach in north Suffolk and though it isn't raining the wind-chill means that we are in 'survival mode' - thermals are vital apparel. My brother, 'John-the-elder', and myself are returned to the hunt, only this time we have brought a 'youngling' with us in order that we might induct him into the tribal skills of fishing from the beach. The 'youngling', is my son, named 'Joe-Bilbo' and he is puppy-eager to begin.
We counsel patience. There are arcane signs in this bleak and to many, featureless landscape. We must first take time to read them. Is the tide on the ebb or flow? What will happen with the weather ('John-the-elder' has much to say on this)? Where are the fish most likely to be found given that there are small breakers 150 yards from the shore? Which bait, ragworm or squid, is best suited to the conditions?
We claim our portion of the deserted beach and skilfully assemble our equipment. I demonstrate to Joe the necessary but brutal art of baiting the hook. Deftly, I disembowel a worm and work the hook through it to ensure that it is not lost when the cast is made. Blooded, I sense Joe's rising excitement, his wish to test himself.
Again, I (sometimes known as 'Greybeard') counsel patience. There is no 'youtube' here to offer assistance. I deploy well-honed pedagogic skills, forged in the furnaces of innercity classrooms, to help demonstrate the need for co-ordination of hand and eye, the importance of releasing the line at the precise moment the weighted 'trace' (technical term - see glossary) is launched in the desired direction. At its best, this choreography of man and rod (no relation) has been likened to four dimensional poetry.
I make a first, laboured cast of just 50 yards or so and hurriedly withdraw the line in order to allow Joe an opportunity. My tuition receives instant reward as he synchronises effortlessly to drop the weight with a satisfying 'plop' 100 yards distant into the deepest part of the trench that lies between ourselves and the breakers. John and myself take turns to use our second rod whilst keeping a 'weathered eye' on the youngling. My son is expectant. I smile in a knowing way to my brother and he returns the same - 'the boy has much to learn'.
Whatever the odds against success, we share the responsibility of awareness that back in our faux-traditional, black, weather-boarded, barns , rented for a full week, there are women and children dependent on our efforts. The nearest supermarket may not be open throughout the Christmas week and our numbers on Christmas Eve will swell to twenty as the tribe gathers for the annual ritual.
Distracted by our cares, we are at first unaware that Joe has decided to reel in. He says that he has some resistance on the line and I assure him this is likely to be the seaweed I have already encountered from my own casts. Then I see the silver agitation in the shallows and leap to help him with the catch. The fish is fat, sleek and writhing in my hand as I remove the hook.
In Dorset, Norfolk and most recently at Aldeburgh, a few miles to the south, my brother and I have spent many, many hours in quest of a fish worthy of putting on a plate. In fact neither of us has ever caught a (marine) fish as large as this. Now, Joe, with virtually his first cast has landed a sea bass (initially identified by myself as 'a large whiting'; a mistake rectified by a passing fisherman) worth £20 to a local restaurant. Later, Joe insists that Judy (who together with Diana has brought lunchtime sustenance) takes photos of him with rod and fish held aloft.
John and I continue fishing for several hours, long after Joe has lost interest and left us to explore Southwold with Oren, Ella and Claire. Between us we manage to catch several more small whiting and dabs but nothing like Joe's sea bass. It is the only fish we will eventually cook and eat. Though admitting it chokes me like a half-swallowed fishbone - it was delicious.
Fast forward to now. The stay in our well-appointed Suffolk barns was a great success. Photos can be viewed on my facebook home page or that of Chris Ling, Claire Lichtenstein, Anna Holland or Stephen Ling.
The week was unique, including as it did just about everyone on the 'Lingside'. To be honest, however, I was largely a spectator over the course of that memorable week. Everyone mucked in and created something truly special but it was as much as I could do to maintain some of the daily routines that have become so important to me. There were occasions when I lapsed from my healthy lifestyle and consumed some alcohol, turkey, chocolate and even a couple of pieces of gammon!
Back home our vegan routines have been re-established and given that I'm at the 'top' of my chemo phase of the cycle, I'm feeling pretty good. No doubt this improvement with sore-feet syndrome and fatigue is due largely to the reduced dosage that was agreed back in October (see 22/10/12 post). What remains unknown is the consequence of this reduced dosage for the efficacy of the drugs. The next CT scan, to be discussed with my oncologist in late January, will give us an answer.
I would like to send a Happy New Year greeting and much love to everyone who has made it this far. Oh! and I have managed to see 'The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey' in the company of Joe and his old schoolfriend Matt before Joe returned to Durham.
But you may already have guessed as much.
We are on Southwold beach in north Suffolk and though it isn't raining the wind-chill means that we are in 'survival mode' - thermals are vital apparel. My brother, 'John-the-elder', and myself are returned to the hunt, only this time we have brought a 'youngling' with us in order that we might induct him into the tribal skills of fishing from the beach. The 'youngling', is my son, named 'Joe-Bilbo' and he is puppy-eager to begin.
We counsel patience. There are arcane signs in this bleak and to many, featureless landscape. We must first take time to read them. Is the tide on the ebb or flow? What will happen with the weather ('John-the-elder' has much to say on this)? Where are the fish most likely to be found given that there are small breakers 150 yards from the shore? Which bait, ragworm or squid, is best suited to the conditions?
We claim our portion of the deserted beach and skilfully assemble our equipment. I demonstrate to Joe the necessary but brutal art of baiting the hook. Deftly, I disembowel a worm and work the hook through it to ensure that it is not lost when the cast is made. Blooded, I sense Joe's rising excitement, his wish to test himself.
Again, I (sometimes known as 'Greybeard') counsel patience. There is no 'youtube' here to offer assistance. I deploy well-honed pedagogic skills, forged in the furnaces of innercity classrooms, to help demonstrate the need for co-ordination of hand and eye, the importance of releasing the line at the precise moment the weighted 'trace' (technical term - see glossary) is launched in the desired direction. At its best, this choreography of man and rod (no relation) has been likened to four dimensional poetry.
I make a first, laboured cast of just 50 yards or so and hurriedly withdraw the line in order to allow Joe an opportunity. My tuition receives instant reward as he synchronises effortlessly to drop the weight with a satisfying 'plop' 100 yards distant into the deepest part of the trench that lies between ourselves and the breakers. John and myself take turns to use our second rod whilst keeping a 'weathered eye' on the youngling. My son is expectant. I smile in a knowing way to my brother and he returns the same - 'the boy has much to learn'.
Whatever the odds against success, we share the responsibility of awareness that back in our faux-traditional, black, weather-boarded, barns , rented for a full week, there are women and children dependent on our efforts. The nearest supermarket may not be open throughout the Christmas week and our numbers on Christmas Eve will swell to twenty as the tribe gathers for the annual ritual.
Distracted by our cares, we are at first unaware that Joe has decided to reel in. He says that he has some resistance on the line and I assure him this is likely to be the seaweed I have already encountered from my own casts. Then I see the silver agitation in the shallows and leap to help him with the catch. The fish is fat, sleek and writhing in my hand as I remove the hook.
In Dorset, Norfolk and most recently at Aldeburgh, a few miles to the south, my brother and I have spent many, many hours in quest of a fish worthy of putting on a plate. In fact neither of us has ever caught a (marine) fish as large as this. Now, Joe, with virtually his first cast has landed a sea bass (initially identified by myself as 'a large whiting'; a mistake rectified by a passing fisherman) worth £20 to a local restaurant. Later, Joe insists that Judy (who together with Diana has brought lunchtime sustenance) takes photos of him with rod and fish held aloft.
John and I continue fishing for several hours, long after Joe has lost interest and left us to explore Southwold with Oren, Ella and Claire. Between us we manage to catch several more small whiting and dabs but nothing like Joe's sea bass. It is the only fish we will eventually cook and eat. Though admitting it chokes me like a half-swallowed fishbone - it was delicious.
Fast forward to now. The stay in our well-appointed Suffolk barns was a great success. Photos can be viewed on my facebook home page or that of Chris Ling, Claire Lichtenstein, Anna Holland or Stephen Ling.
The week was unique, including as it did just about everyone on the 'Lingside'. To be honest, however, I was largely a spectator over the course of that memorable week. Everyone mucked in and created something truly special but it was as much as I could do to maintain some of the daily routines that have become so important to me. There were occasions when I lapsed from my healthy lifestyle and consumed some alcohol, turkey, chocolate and even a couple of pieces of gammon!
Back home our vegan routines have been re-established and given that I'm at the 'top' of my chemo phase of the cycle, I'm feeling pretty good. No doubt this improvement with sore-feet syndrome and fatigue is due largely to the reduced dosage that was agreed back in October (see 22/10/12 post). What remains unknown is the consequence of this reduced dosage for the efficacy of the drugs. The next CT scan, to be discussed with my oncologist in late January, will give us an answer.
I would like to send a Happy New Year greeting and much love to everyone who has made it this far. Oh! and I have managed to see 'The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey' in the company of Joe and his old schoolfriend Matt before Joe returned to Durham.
But you may already have guessed as much.
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
Paradox
The following is a post that I wrote more than a week ago but didn't publish at the time................. well, in the light of 'Homo horizontalis' (7th November) just remember, Oscar Wilde said that paradox lies at the heart of human existence.
Dear reader, proceed..............
I know what I have to do - cardio-vascular exercise. I can continue with my pilates-cum-yoga but I need to ensure that I get more oxygen into my bloodstream and rebuild some of the lost bulk in my muscles. (Yes, I did say 'rebuild'.) So, unsure as to the wisdom of attaching a drainage pipe from my bank account to a gym, we've been looking at a piece of equipment for the home; an upright exercise bike, a recumbent or perhaps a cross trainer. We have looked online but my QEH physio suggested visiting Decathlon in the same retail park as IKEA in Wednesbury. Diana is immediately interested in anything adjacent to IKEA.
Recumbent bikes are not available when we find Decathlon but by the time I've tried a few cross trainers and uprights, I'm exhausted and sore-footed. IKEA appears increasingly attractive.
Then someone had a brainwave. It may even have been me. Why not contact the people at Moseley School's own LA Fitness Centre (that's LA as in Local Authority)? So, I renewed my acquaintance with Jag, the centre manager, who was incredibly helpful. I explained about the cancer and degenerating, scoliotic spine and rather than put the phone down he was willing to talk, taking an holistic approach to my condition and the part exercise might play.
He has already given me the opportunity to experience recumbent bikes in the gym and promises to design a personal exercise routine for me at home. Meanwhile I can use the gym and spend some time on the equipment there. He advises me not to rush into a purchase.
One item we have decided to purchase immediately is a seed and wheat grass sprouter complete with its own automatic mist watering system. We aim to grow a lot more sprouting seeds and possibly wheat grass.
If we invite you for a meal, you're in for a real treat.
Dear reader, proceed..............
I know what I have to do - cardio-vascular exercise. I can continue with my pilates-cum-yoga but I need to ensure that I get more oxygen into my bloodstream and rebuild some of the lost bulk in my muscles. (Yes, I did say 'rebuild'.) So, unsure as to the wisdom of attaching a drainage pipe from my bank account to a gym, we've been looking at a piece of equipment for the home; an upright exercise bike, a recumbent or perhaps a cross trainer. We have looked online but my QEH physio suggested visiting Decathlon in the same retail park as IKEA in Wednesbury. Diana is immediately interested in anything adjacent to IKEA.
Recumbent bikes are not available when we find Decathlon but by the time I've tried a few cross trainers and uprights, I'm exhausted and sore-footed. IKEA appears increasingly attractive.
Then someone had a brainwave. It may even have been me. Why not contact the people at Moseley School's own LA Fitness Centre (that's LA as in Local Authority)? So, I renewed my acquaintance with Jag, the centre manager, who was incredibly helpful. I explained about the cancer and degenerating, scoliotic spine and rather than put the phone down he was willing to talk, taking an holistic approach to my condition and the part exercise might play.
He has already given me the opportunity to experience recumbent bikes in the gym and promises to design a personal exercise routine for me at home. Meanwhile I can use the gym and spend some time on the equipment there. He advises me not to rush into a purchase.
One item we have decided to purchase immediately is a seed and wheat grass sprouter complete with its own automatic mist watering system. We aim to grow a lot more sprouting seeds and possibly wheat grass.
If we invite you for a meal, you're in for a real treat.
Homo horizontalis
Increasingly, the floor opens her arms in welcome.
I am alone at such moments - perhaps tending the wood-burning stove or retrieving a domestic object that has reached the surface of our planet (well, but for the rug, the boards and the cellar's brick flooring............). I then find myself tempted to go down onto 'all fours' and mimic our mammalian cousins (but alas, without their infinite capacity for fluidity, ease and grace). No, I rheumatically flex my hips and lumbar spine in the manner that I have been taught by my Pilates instructors.
But this is merely a device, a self-deception, because soon I have descended yet further, finding relief in allowing my burdensome trunk to make full surrender to the force of gravity.
Ah gravity - throughout our lives we fight this invisible monster. We unashamedly surrender to it in moments of Wembley or Wimbledon-winning exultation, when sleeping, when unwell and when partaking in other unmentionably playful pursuits; but generally we are encouraged, instructed even, to fight it in the spirit of our prehistoric forebears - head up, shoulders back, stomach in, knees straight. (This is the litany Diana recites for me on a regular basis).
But little by little, day by debilitating day, gravity works a crooked finger into our athletic resolve - the bent knees, the slumped shoulders, the further curving of the spine. Is it surprising then that the word itself has been leased for use when a term is needed for that which is serious, weighty and solemn?
As for me; at last I lie in splendid solitude - I roll over, onto my back, every part of me now blithely cemented to the floor. Gravity wins - and I can relax.
There is dangerous comfort here.
Time to rise - and shine?
I am alone at such moments - perhaps tending the wood-burning stove or retrieving a domestic object that has reached the surface of our planet (well, but for the rug, the boards and the cellar's brick flooring............). I then find myself tempted to go down onto 'all fours' and mimic our mammalian cousins (but alas, without their infinite capacity for fluidity, ease and grace). No, I rheumatically flex my hips and lumbar spine in the manner that I have been taught by my Pilates instructors.
But this is merely a device, a self-deception, because soon I have descended yet further, finding relief in allowing my burdensome trunk to make full surrender to the force of gravity.
Ah gravity - throughout our lives we fight this invisible monster. We unashamedly surrender to it in moments of Wembley or Wimbledon-winning exultation, when sleeping, when unwell and when partaking in other unmentionably playful pursuits; but generally we are encouraged, instructed even, to fight it in the spirit of our prehistoric forebears - head up, shoulders back, stomach in, knees straight. (This is the litany Diana recites for me on a regular basis).
But little by little, day by debilitating day, gravity works a crooked finger into our athletic resolve - the bent knees, the slumped shoulders, the further curving of the spine. Is it surprising then that the word itself has been leased for use when a term is needed for that which is serious, weighty and solemn?
As for me; at last I lie in splendid solitude - I roll over, onto my back, every part of me now blithely cemented to the floor. Gravity wins - and I can relax.
There is dangerous comfort here.
Time to rise - and shine?
Monday, 22 October 2012
The journey.
A lot has been happening.
I did make an effort to blog about my journey to Norfolk a week or so ago but after spending many hours (I kid you not - these posts are not run off in a trice, as though things of fleeting fancy) but I managed to lose it, owing to my incompetence with technology, not once but twice. After much weeping, wailing and the replacement of a battered keyboard, I decided that this particular post obviously wasn't meant to be shared with the blogosphere. I let it go. All that remains of it, ground-breaking and post-modern as it was, is now consigned to my imperfect and rapidly fading memory.
But this is a new day and so I will start from here. My most up-to-date medical bulletin should include reference to the visit I made to the Eye Clinic at the QEH last week. Diana dropped me close to the main entrance of the new hospital because my feet were too sore to make the half-mile walk from Harrisons Road, where we usually park, in order to avoid the car parking fees. Lest you think us skinflints, we must have made more than 50 visits to the hospital in the last 18 months. 50 x £3 or £4 helps to defray the costs of our membership of nearby Winterbourne Gardens and the copious quantities of green tea and baked potatoes we have consumed there as part of our post-appointment therapy.
So, as I crossed the road and approached the curving pedestrian path that leads to the hospital's huge revolving doors, I was a little surprised to see a number of camera crews confronting me. Surprised, because we hadn't mentioned my appointment to anyone so I hypothesised that this was another instance of the regrettable practice of leaks within the NHS (viz; recent episodes of The thick of it).
As it turned out, the interviewers allowed me to pass unmolested, for which I was grateful if a little perplexed.We learned later that these crews had been distracted by the arrival of a young girl from Afghanistan.
But the headline news from the visit was good. The consultant announced that there was no further trace of the small haemorrhage in my right eye. I have been discharged.
Ophthalmology ticked, just orthopaedics and oncology to go.
Writing of oncology; there is news here too. The week before last we had visited the Cancer Clinic to discuss the sore feet side effects of the chemo. We were greeted warmly by the consultant, another doctor on placement and two specialist nurses. Though the team were interested in all side effects over the course of the last few cycles, I explained that it was the sore feet that were seriously impairing my quality of life. The consultant agreed that 'the cure should not be worse than the condition' and after examining the soles of my feet agreed that the dosage for my next cycle would be reduced. He also said that very few patients reach this point on the maximum dosage, which was some consolation.
I say consolation because reducing the dosage must entail the possibility that the efficacy of the drugs will be reduced. The next CT scan in approximately three months will reveal all.
Our fervent hope of course is that our efforts on exercise, meditation and particularly diet will give me an added advantage.
We are discovering however - or rediscovering - that however far you travel with diet, there are always further steps you can take. So, last weekend we went to a gathering at St. Columba's church in Moseley. We had been drawn by the promise of an appearance by Jane Plant (author of 'Your life in your hands' and other titles). It was Professor Plant we had consulted soon after my diagnosis in May of last year (see post, Friday 1st July). Unfortunately she had to withdraw owing to illness but we nevertheless found ourselves in a strange world of alternative therapies and spiritual healing.
The focus for many of the talks we attended however was on the benefits to be derived from raw and living foods. It is for each of us to undertake these journeys. Ours has already taken us through organics, to vegetarianism to veganism. I don't wish to proselytise but despite our difficulty with some of the ideas we were impressed by the promise of raw veganism.
If you were about to invite us to dinner, don't worry! We are not planning to be total converts - we will continue to have our omnivorous, even carnivorous and certainly cooked moments. At this stage we simply plan to add more juicing, raw food smoothies, sprouting seeds, salads etc to our diet.
However, if we are about to invite you to dinner you may want to consider whether the flowers are edible and the chocolates caffeine-free!
I did make an effort to blog about my journey to Norfolk a week or so ago but after spending many hours (I kid you not - these posts are not run off in a trice, as though things of fleeting fancy) but I managed to lose it, owing to my incompetence with technology, not once but twice. After much weeping, wailing and the replacement of a battered keyboard, I decided that this particular post obviously wasn't meant to be shared with the blogosphere. I let it go. All that remains of it, ground-breaking and post-modern as it was, is now consigned to my imperfect and rapidly fading memory.
But this is a new day and so I will start from here. My most up-to-date medical bulletin should include reference to the visit I made to the Eye Clinic at the QEH last week. Diana dropped me close to the main entrance of the new hospital because my feet were too sore to make the half-mile walk from Harrisons Road, where we usually park, in order to avoid the car parking fees. Lest you think us skinflints, we must have made more than 50 visits to the hospital in the last 18 months. 50 x £3 or £4 helps to defray the costs of our membership of nearby Winterbourne Gardens and the copious quantities of green tea and baked potatoes we have consumed there as part of our post-appointment therapy.
So, as I crossed the road and approached the curving pedestrian path that leads to the hospital's huge revolving doors, I was a little surprised to see a number of camera crews confronting me. Surprised, because we hadn't mentioned my appointment to anyone so I hypothesised that this was another instance of the regrettable practice of leaks within the NHS (viz; recent episodes of The thick of it).
As it turned out, the interviewers allowed me to pass unmolested, for which I was grateful if a little perplexed.We learned later that these crews had been distracted by the arrival of a young girl from Afghanistan.
But the headline news from the visit was good. The consultant announced that there was no further trace of the small haemorrhage in my right eye. I have been discharged.
Ophthalmology ticked, just orthopaedics and oncology to go.
Writing of oncology; there is news here too. The week before last we had visited the Cancer Clinic to discuss the sore feet side effects of the chemo. We were greeted warmly by the consultant, another doctor on placement and two specialist nurses. Though the team were interested in all side effects over the course of the last few cycles, I explained that it was the sore feet that were seriously impairing my quality of life. The consultant agreed that 'the cure should not be worse than the condition' and after examining the soles of my feet agreed that the dosage for my next cycle would be reduced. He also said that very few patients reach this point on the maximum dosage, which was some consolation.
I say consolation because reducing the dosage must entail the possibility that the efficacy of the drugs will be reduced. The next CT scan in approximately three months will reveal all.
Our fervent hope of course is that our efforts on exercise, meditation and particularly diet will give me an added advantage.
We are discovering however - or rediscovering - that however far you travel with diet, there are always further steps you can take. So, last weekend we went to a gathering at St. Columba's church in Moseley. We had been drawn by the promise of an appearance by Jane Plant (author of 'Your life in your hands' and other titles). It was Professor Plant we had consulted soon after my diagnosis in May of last year (see post, Friday 1st July). Unfortunately she had to withdraw owing to illness but we nevertheless found ourselves in a strange world of alternative therapies and spiritual healing.
The focus for many of the talks we attended however was on the benefits to be derived from raw and living foods. It is for each of us to undertake these journeys. Ours has already taken us through organics, to vegetarianism to veganism. I don't wish to proselytise but despite our difficulty with some of the ideas we were impressed by the promise of raw veganism.
If you were about to invite us to dinner, don't worry! We are not planning to be total converts - we will continue to have our omnivorous, even carnivorous and certainly cooked moments. At this stage we simply plan to add more juicing, raw food smoothies, sprouting seeds, salads etc to our diet.
However, if we are about to invite you to dinner you may want to consider whether the flowers are edible and the chocolates caffeine-free!
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